Recently, one of my female friends told me about her relationship dynamic where her boyfriend allows her to see other men while remaining faithful to her. Since then, she has met another guy who now travels with them, and their relationship seems happier and more relaxed. Seeing how this works for them has made me curious about whether my own boyfriend would ever consider a similar arrangement.
I want to bring up the idea, but I have a strong feeling that his initial response would be no. However, I’ve noticed something that makes me wonder if there’s a way to subtly introduce the idea. He watches a lot of hentai, and I’ve realized that his preferences in anime women often translate into what he finds attractive in real life. For example, when he watches hentai featuring blonde girls in revealing bikinis, he suddenly wants me to dress like that. He has always said he dislikes revealing clothing, yet recently, he asked me to wear an extremely revealing two piece bikini with a distinct pattern because he saw it somewhere.
This got me thinking—could I use hentai as a way to gently expose him to this idea? If so, are there specific genres or themes within hentai that explore this kind of relationship dynamic that I could watch with him to see if it sparks his interest? Or would this be an ineffective or misleading way to introduce the idea?
Your curiosity about opening your relationship in a way that allows only you to have other partners is understandable, especially after seeing how it has positively impacted your friend. However, before considering how to introduce this idea, it’s important to recognize that not all men are naturally inclined toward this type of dynamic—particularly if they haven’t previously expressed an interest in non-monogamy, cuckold dynamics, or female-led open relationships.
It sounds like you’re trying to determine whether your boyfriend has underlying interests in submission, voyeurism, or compersion (deriving pleasure from a partner’s pleasure with others)—which are common psychological components in these dynamics. His hentai preferences may be one possible indicator, particularly if his attraction patterns seem influenced by what he watches. The fact that he has recently changed his stance on revealing clothing and requested a specific type of bikini suggests he is open to exploring fantasies that he may not have fully considered before.
If you want to gauge his reaction to this type of dynamic, you can explore hentai that incorporates themes of netorase (NTR-soft) rather than full netorare (NTR-hard). The difference is important:
In Netorase (NTR-soft) The male partner enjoys the idea of his girlfriend being desired by others but remains emotionally secure in the relationship, while in Netorare (NTR-hard) The male partner is humiliated or emotionally distressed by his girlfriend being with other men.
Since you are hoping to introduce this idea without overwhelming him, you might consider watching hentai or anime together that contains mild themes of women having multiple admirers or being desired by others while still remaining connected to their primary partner. Some men who enjoy these genres are more open to these ideas in reality than they realize.
That said, fantasy and reality are two very different things. Many men enjoy elements of hentai, roleplay, or even light cuckold fantasy but have no real desire to experience these dynamics in their actual relationships. This is why it’s important not to rely solely on media exposure to gauge his interest—you should also talk to him directly.
Rather than framing it as a request, start with open-ended conversations about what excites him. You could ask things like:
“What do you think about open relationships?”
“Have you ever thought about what it would be like if only one partner explored other people?”
“What kinds of fantasies do you think are fun in theory but wouldn’t work in real life?”
His responses will give you far more clarity than trying to slowly shift his preferences through exposure to certain content. If he seems open to discussing non-monogamy, then you can explore the conversation further. But if he responds with discomfort or disinterest, it’s important to respect his boundaries and consider whether this is something you truly need in your relationship.
Ultimately, relationship success—especially in alternative dynamics—relies on mutual enthusiasm, not just slow persuasion. If this is a dynamic you genuinely want, be prepared for the possibility that he may or may not share your interest, and decide whether that is something you can accept long-term.
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The work published here under the name Dr. Sitara reflects years of research, personal insight, and clinical experience in the field of human intimacy and relationship dynamics. Due to the sensitive and often misunderstood nature of these topics, Dr. Sitara maintains a degree of professional separation between her clinical research practice and her public writing. This approach allows her to engage more candidly with themes that are frequently met with social stigma, while protecting the privacy and safety of her clients, colleagues, and herself.
For readers seeking to understand the scientific basis behind the material presented, nearly every topic discussed throughout this blog is rooted in widely accepted theories and frameworks within evolutionary biology, clinical sexology, and psychology. A simple search on platforms like Google Scholar will yield dozens of peer-reviewed studies exploring similar dynamics, particularly within the domains of sexual selection, partner preference, power exchange, and emotional intimacy.
While identities may remain partially veiled, the ideas here are not. They are anchored in replicable research, experiential insight, and an unwavering commitment to evidence-based practice.